Mr Speaker

The Old Lady and the handdrier machine

The old lady and the magpies

Google may have noticed that I recently deleted a whole swag of posts from this blog. The posts were all titled "The old woman at the bus stop who I cycle past everyday said:" and the body of the posts contained a (usually one sentance) transcript of what the old woman had chirpped to me as I struggled up the hill to work.

She always said something different. "Tough going today!", "You'll never get in the Olympics at that rate..", "Where's your hat today?".. In a flash of inspiration I realised and once I collected 50 or so posts it really would have been an item of interest and beauty. It was not to be. I ended up collecting about 4.

It wasn't my fault, honest. First, a couple of families of magpies set up home right near the bus stop. And they were swoopy little buggers. After a few days of having shattered nerves I changed route with the intention of resuming the posting once the lil' magpies was all grown up.

Then I got a new job and never saw the old lady again.

The new job

I had to go for an interview for the new job. Running late, I decided to ride in on my pushy. That was silly because it was the hottest October day recorded since they stopped using the Fahrenheit temperature scale. I arrived dishevelled and sweaty. Consulting a toilet mirror confirmed I looked like a long-time homeless person wearing a suit. My bike helmet had given me a hair-do which some how made it look like an attempted comb-over. I tried to fix my hair but all attempts only worsened the sitution.

Running out of time and patience, I stuck my head under the hand drier machine. As I went to fix up the devestation I thought that move would have caused, I realised a hair-styling miracle had occurred. My hair look snazzy. Better than ever, I'd say. I didn't even have to touch it. All I could do was adopt a Fonz stance and say "'eeey!"

New job: Part 2 - the job
Dual screen B S O D
Needless to say, with a Fonz-like level of confidence I got the job. I have a desk and a chair and a plastic cup for the watercooler that says "Neverfail" (a Coke subsidiary I think...) I've used the same cup for several days and so far it has lived up to its name.

On the first day of work I spilled coffee on my shirt. I didn't notice till I went to the toilet. I took off my shirt and washed it in the sink, then dried it under the hand drier machine. The hand drier machine has already saved me twice.

I don't know how many people saw coffee on my shirt but didn't tell me. The old woman at the bus stop who I cycled past everyday would have told me.

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