Mr Speaker

Recipes for the handy-man.

The Nu-KookaWell, things have been pretty quiet around here... I blame it on the troubles in the world today: bad TV reception with rabbit-ears; little choice in salt brands; the unreasonably slow development of meat-growing machines... It can really get you down.

In times of crisis it's good to turn to the sage advice of The Nu-Kooka: 2nd Edition - Containing the best Jewish and Continental dishes, cocktails, savouries, confectionery: Revised and re-edited and including the latest American recipes.

All for the low, low price of 5/-. Whatever the heck that is. Five slash-dashes. Five forward-slash-dashes. It cost me $1 though. The recipe we will be following today comes from page 17, under the section titled Miscellaneous:

PDF Steam Sterilized Cake FruitsAn Enema

Sometimes it has been found that a patient, especially when confined to bed, is hard to move with an ordinary aperient, and this is a doctor's prescription, and is invaluable:-

1 1/2 pints of soapy water,
1 tablespoonful oil of turps,
1 tablespoonful castor oil,
1 yoke of egg

Unfortunately, that's it. There are no instructions for application. You'll just have to get stuck into some good old trial-and-error.

45 posts and this is the first bum joke! Well... second.


  1. PDF Cake Fruits? Is that like, wot… Adobe Acrobat Snacks? Photoshop Phroots?

    Thursday, August 18, 2005 at 10:28 pm | Permalink
  2. BTW, in case you care, 5/- was 5 shillings in the old silly money. Not quite half a pound – as there was 12 shillings to the pound – and 13 shillings to the Guinea.

    About the equivalent of a hour’s wage for a factory worker.

    Friday, November 11, 2005 at 12:32 pm | Permalink
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